Nicole Rogers, an American author, announcer and relationship coach, went through a traumatic experience when her husband told her that he no longer loved her and wanted to end the marriage. Despite her intuition warning her for years, she tried everything to save the marriage, including calling his family and friends, going to couples therapy, and even telling his lover to stop talking to him.
However, nothing worked and her marriage fell apart within six weeks. After a difficult last therapy session in which her husband suggested a trial separation, Rogers reached her breaking point and told her therapist that she was exhausted from all the effort she had put into trying to save the marriage.
Rogers realized that she had been passively trying to change her husband’s mind and convincing him to stay in the marriage. The therapist told her that “passivity is action” and that she needed to understand that her husband had been saying “no” to her for years.
Working with a therapist, Rogers began to understand how she felt and all the hard work she had put into the marriage. She closed her eyes and imagined what life would be like if she hadn’t tried so hard to change him or convince him. She realized that in that case, she would have felt relaxed, open, and confident in the mood to receive love.
Rogers started dating again after healing from exhaustion and learning what it feels like to be with a man who says “yes” to her dreams. She paid attention to how she felt in her body around them and stopped dating men who were unavailable or not on the same page as her. Eventually, she met someone who shared a vision of creating a family together and they got married a few years back.